The Pianist

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Photo taken from: https://lisaquinones.photoshelter.com/image/I0000DjPT8qmCBdw
Listening to a piano piece and opera music has made me stop for a while and commit to contemplation. It’s one of the weird stuffs I always crave when I’m feeling indifferent or effete. It’s already 10:40pm on my smiley-faced clock and as much as I want to read Bo Sanchez’ book,  in my colorful diary (Yes, I still have one) and to hibernate like a polar bear in my igloo, I have managed to freeze the time and dwell my precarious state in savoring the music. 


Every finger that touches the keys has different magnitude. It stresses something that only the pianist can feel. I imagine him controlling each touch, each urge, and each force to bring a beautiful melody. Perhaps, he even had marshaled every ounce of strength that he has, just not to ruin the music. I, sometimes, have that same experience. 


As much as I want to give everything I have… to show all my cards in the table... I know that deep inside my mind that if I surrender or put everything out… I’ll just create chaos and pandemonium and even confusion around me. Forcing things has been one of the most difficult (and sometimes impossible) things to control and prevent. I bet even the great composers like Vivaldi, Strauss, Bach and Mozart have that same experience. 


Patience is absolutely bitter as what the cliché has pronounced to the world. But as the music comes to an end, as the last keys are played, as the applause from the crowd vanishes... I realized and understood why the pianist had controlled and disciplined himself so that the ending will be just so wonderful and perfect. That’s how I view things right now. I am the the pianist.. My life… the music =) I control my life! 



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